The Importance of Random Acquaintances.

I have the good fortune to work in an industry (yes I have a job) in which I meet new people every day. Most of them are elderly, but every now and then a beautiful woman will just pop out of nowhere. SHOWTIME! I have never had problems talking to people. Actually the people that know me best would say this is more a problem than I think it is. What this does though, I can easily approach these women without hesitation. Half the battle is already won. And as you can tell (you are reading all of this...right?) I'm pretty charming guy. I digress. This all payed off in a big time way when a group of people came from Vegas to party in New Orleans (my kinda crowd). It was like a group of 15 of them.

There was ONE however in particular that caught my attention. She was NICE! Long black hair, pretty face, and everything below that was would you would expect it to be. None of that was what got my attention. Nope, I overheard her telling a story from the night before how she was feeling all over this guys stomach cause he had a six pack (my kinda gal).

I went on to find out what they were doing later that night, she actually suggested that I meet up with them later on. When I get to the after party, this group of 15 perfect strangers welcomed me into their circle. That made quite an impression on me. And of course my lady friend was excited to see me. And man did we have a great time that night. Definitely one for the record books.

Dr. Lipshitz Says--When you take chances on meeting new people great things can come from it. In this case, I now have a good friend, maybe even a friend for life. We often stick to our little circle of people because it's safe, it's all we know. You can't live your life this way. I mean you can, but whats the point of living if you don't LIVE a little. Meeting new people is actually one of the easiest ways to do this. You'll also find when you learn new things about new people, you also learn new things about yourself as well.

So go out there and try, I'm sure there a few people you work with that you don't even know. Did you know you already had something in common.

**por mi lil mamacita **

Why Do You Think Hating Is Cool?

The most recent example of hating I can recall (that was also the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen) was when I went out for a buddy of mines birthday. It was like 4-5 of us that night. I knew everybody but this one cat. Now by the looks of him and how he was looking at me, I knew right off the bat that homeboy was going to be a problem. He had on the hater uniform (skinny jeans, over priced shoes, and parts of his shirt was shinny..oh and tha ninja had on a tie), and first time I made a joke he gave me the "I'm smelling bad cheese face." In the spirit of not being my normal self and hittin him with a riot act off top just to set the tone, I let it go. Shoulda nip that shit in the bud. So all night as every hour passes I could fel the tension mounting between us. It was all subtle shit I could laugh off to myself until homeboy crossed the line. I guess he just decided in his head since I was the only person he didn't know, I was going to be the person he would hate on that particular night.

So as I usually do when I'm leaving a club or bar I starting talking to women to see if any of them are in the same "mood" as I am. In the middle of closing a deal. This M.F. comes up to the same girl I'm talking to trying to run interference. Now at this point I would love nothing more to string this scrawny ninja up by his skinny ass neck tie, but I keep myself composed. I just said f**k it and on to the next one. I don't know maybe he loved her. Can you believe he did it again..to the very next chick I was talking to. Now as soon as the words were building to come out of my mouth..ol' girl took them right from me, "what you doing in them skinny ass pants," she said. It was the knock out blow for the century.

That's hating at it's finest right there. But what I've realized, a lot of cats today (especially black men) have what I like to call "Bitch Nigga Tendencies." These guys are really hard to identify because BNT is really hard to diagnose. If you're lucky you can spot this deathly disease early if it reveals itself to you in the way it did to me. Other times though it's but more subtle. Here are a few:
1. One Ups--This is probably the most common symptom of hating. A one upper will at any cost find a reason why what he is doing is "__" that much better than what you are doing. You know I actually had a dude tell me his phone was better than mine because his case was black and mine was blue. He said he was keeping it more real than I was. These are normally people you barely or don't know at all, who take pleasure in the misery of others.

2. Flakey--Another one you can see coming as well. These are those "friends" you have that when ya'll are chillin you could swear you are brothers. That's until you see them in public. Catch one of these out in the club when they are with their "cool" friends and they act like they don't even know you. SMH

3.Rouge Opps-- Now this is the most dangerous type of hater. This is normally the person you least expect. A rouge hater is the type of person that can't wait for their chance to prove to the world they are better than you. Normally they have some real jacked of way of doing it too. The best example is someone you have known your entire life sleeping with a girl you almost married not too long after ya'll broke up (oops was that too personal).



Synopsis
Dr. Lipshitz says we can thanks these guys over here in my opinion. I enjoyed the dipset anthem as much as the next cat (actually I like the sqad version better), but they really sent hating into overdrive. They really embodied the whole "I'm better than you" thing. They even encouraged a whole generation of black males to live by their creed. As a result there is a general lack of respect out there.

Look dude, why don't you sit there and be miserable. Because that's what I think the issue is. You have built up this false self image of yourself to you and everybody around you that in order to keep it up you have to make yourself look better at the expense of others.

What do you guys think? Am I wrong, or is hating running wild in our streets? What are some other types of haters out there that you have encountered?

Know Your Role and Shut Your Mouth!!!

In my opinion I believe this to be the fundamental issue between men and women. Ya see a long time ago men were the workhorses of the family. This was also in the days when men were the only ones going to work. Most of the jobs (especially the middle class families) were factory jobs or some other field requiring strength or some other reason to not include a woman in that field.

And then you all burned your bras. Since then women have come a very long way. Not only equal to but in many cases in modern day society, have surpasses men. This phenomenon can be contributed to many factors:

1. No more middle class--as a result of the destruction of the middle class there are less men out there in the workforce. Many men find themselves in the situation where they have to stop going to school to start working in order to feed their families.
2. More Women with that Paper--the fact of the matter is, there are more of ya'll getting Diplomas and better paying jobs than we are. It may be true that the highest earners of a company are men, but the percentages play out better in your favor.

These along with several other factors are the root of what I feel has become a major disconnect between men and women. In the days when man ruled the Earth, everybody understood their roles. Man went to work. Wife stayed home and held down the fort. It was like this practically forever. Fast forward to today, and everything is all jacked up..lol. Divorce rates at an all time high. People are communicating with each other less and less. Most importantly we forgot how to treat each other.

You all as a whole have this "new power." Being the primary bread winner in may relationships, this entitles to certain liberties. While that may seem as a given to the younger generation, ask your grandmother how many "liberties" she had in her relationship. The issue comes when a woman feels she can't punk/play/bitch her man around. That fat wallet of yours has given you quite the heavy hand that you just love to swing around. Most of the time it's directed towards the guy your seeing. Especially said guy is not bringing in the same amount of money as you.

You need to understand, no man wants to be with a woman who treats him like less of a man. I see it so many times. A chick is blasting on her man in public (A BIG NO NO), or the guy will have a leash on him so tight, he can't even jump of the porch. Like WTF happened.

Advice
Dr. Lipshitz says...Ladies, I think you guys need to start treating your man more like a man. The most recent example I used. Sorry for the graphic nature of this but once again being totally blunt is the best way to get my point across. Next time you want your man to do something, make a list of everything you want him to do. Once you have it all written up, just before you give it to him, give him a BJ. As outlandish as this seems you have accomplished more than you think. You just gave him the strength and energy to build a house by hand, you just told him, without words, how much you appreciate him. Most of all he feels like a man.

This also works in your favor. At least for myself having your woman make you feel like a man is one of the most understated qualities of a good woman. The one that makes me feel like Zeus typically is the one getting most of my attention. If you can put your pride in your pocket for the sake of your man and your relationship you will be surprised the results you can get from a guy.

I get it, you have worked extremely hard to get where you are. Why should you have to coddle some guys fragile male ego. Cause that's the way it was for years, and if it ain't broke don't fix it.

Seems like good jumping off point for discussion. I will now leave it to you. What do you think would be the solution to this problem.

**DISCLAIMER**

Okay, so I figured this would be a great starting off point to kind and set the mood of the room. Now please understand that in no way are my intentions to hurt the feelings of anyone who reads these post. I will from time to time say something that can easily be taken the wrong way and you might get offended. Here's the deal. In my opinion (which by the way is the only thing this is) I think the only way to get a point across is to be as blunt as possible. Ya see, some people really need to spelled out for them. I am ALWAYS speaking in general terms unless otherwise notated. I'm doing this for fun and also I hope everyone else who either reads or contributes gets some thing out of this. I am told I have a "unique" outtake on many issues that confront people on a daily basis. With that out the way...May your intelligence be your guide on the path to knowledge...